THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
