My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
