The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
