I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
