also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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