I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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