Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
