if i can run in heels then i can drive
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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