We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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