M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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