if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
