hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
