is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize