well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
