did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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