fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
