we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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