i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
