windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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