Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
