I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just forgot I was standing up.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
