She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
