I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
