I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Randomize
