well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he wants to bone in the snuggie
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
