i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize