i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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