32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Randomize
