So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
