i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
