Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
