Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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