smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Where is the hickey?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
