Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
