You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
