Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Randomize
