I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize