he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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