dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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