She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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