I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
