We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
