break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
