So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
