my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
