dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
