Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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