Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Welp...herpes.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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