Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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