Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
