Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
