How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
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