dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize