His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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