white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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