Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
