glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
