i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
