We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
