your room smells of hookers.
And success
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
